In the 1970s Albert Mehrabian published a book on non-verbal communication called ‘Silent Messages’. In it, he discussed the findings of 2 studies based on the ability to communicate one word, namely ‘maybe’.
In the first study he found that people were able to tell if this word was being said in a neutral, liking or disliking way 55% more easily if they were shown a photo of the person’s expression when saying ‘maybe’.
In the second study, they were asked to identify the emotion based on the tone of how a set of words was said.
People were shown to be influenced by the tone more than the actual word itself. This research led to the 7% or 93% ‘rule’ that 7% of communication is verbal and 93% is non-verbal.
But what are verbal and non verbal communication examples?
Verbal communication happens when somebody uses their voice to get the message across. Examples of verbal communication include:
- Face-to-face conversations
- Presentations and lectures
- Phone calls
- Video calls
- Workshops and training sessions
On the other hand, forms of non-verbal communication includes any other form of communication, for example:
- Making or avoiding eye contact
- Tone of voice
- Hand movements
- Facial expressions, such as smiling
- Crossing arms and legs
- Shaking or nodding your head
- Raising eyebrows
- Shaking hands
Is Mehrabian’s 93% rule valid?
Is this ‘rule’ valid? Of course this study done in isolation seems ludicrous to base a rule on but yet in popular culture this is exactly what has happened.
Fast forward a few decades, what is our current understanding of the influence of non-verbal communication and how can this help us for example to become more persuasive during presentations, improve rapport building during a sales visit or just simply grow personal relationships?
Non-verbal communication is a complex set of gestures, voice tone and speed, facial expressions, posture, proxemics and even physiological changes which contribute greatly to how words are interpreted. Indeed at times non-verbal communication can be so distracting that we fail to listen to the words as it becomes more imperative to interpret them quickly.
Much of our non-verbal communication skills are learnt from infancy and can be gender and culturally based. You only have to watch the body language of two very different cultures, Japan and Italy, to recognise this–although, there are also non-verbal consistencies between cultures. That being said, as we are now increasingly global in our outlook, cross-cultural communication skills, providing we are open to learning, become more normal to us.
One stark example is standing in lines. The British and Americans stand in lines; generally speaking it is culturally the done thing. We don’t get too close either (proxemics). If you have queued up for tickets anywhere in Morocco or even France you may notice the opposite, a crowd of people at the counter, all extremely able to jostle into position and think nothing of reserving positions for friends.
So, why is non-verbal communication important?
Non-verbal communication can tell another person so much about you: whether you care, if you are telling the truth, and how well you are listening.
What are the advantages of non-verbal communication?
Non-verbal communication can be tricky, but it comes with many advantages, including:
- Building trust and rapport
- Regulating conversation
- Giving clarity
- Saving time
- Enhancing verbal messages
- Being helpful in difficult situations
What are the problems of non-verbal communication?
As much as it can be used to your advantage, there are also many problems of non-verbal communication, if used incorrectly, including:
- Cultural norms and differences: in some cultures, something might be considered polite, but in others, not.
- Misinterpretation: different cultures might have different meanings for gestures, leading to misunderstandings.
- Lacking self-awareness: individuals may be unaware of their habits, for example, you might cross your arms out of habit without acknowledging it.
- Intentional deception: people can use non-verbal signals on purpose for their benefit.
- Depending on it too much: this can cause problems as not everybody is an expert at reading body language.
- Not being able to explain complex ideas: complex information is difficult to convey via non-verbal communication only.
Improving non-verbal communication: quick wins
So, how can you use knowledge of non-verbal communication to help build rapport even in a different culture?
- Ensure you have a confident voice full of belief in what you are saying.
- Make sure your hand gestures are relaxed, slow and deliberate.
- Match your facial expression to your words. If you are ‘pleased to meet someone’ show this on your face. Leave your distractions at home and focus on the now.
- Keep confident body posture that is neutral, non-threatening and open and always ensure you are not invasive of personal space.
- Remember to maintain eye contact (60% or so of the time), too much is threatening and too little is suspect.
Want to improve your communication skills? Explore ISM’s communication training or contact us today to become an expert at communicating – both verbally and not.